Daniel Radcliffe Has a Second Career as a Bachelor Nation Recap-er

“That is the last refuge of so many men,” Daniel Radcliffe spits, partway through his tour-de-force guest role on the Bachelor Nation recap podcast Love to See It. His tone is slick with disdain, mimicking a male contestant on Bachelor in Paradise: “You’re entitled to your opinion.” 

Daniel Radcliffe: recovered child star, versatile performer, and armchair psychologist to Bachelor Nation.

Very few things right now provide pure, potent joy, but we have here an exception: 101 minutes of Bachelor in Paradise analysis from Daniel Radcliffe and his longtime girlfriend, actor Erin Darke. Together with Love to See It hosts Emma Gray and Claire Fallon, they spend an episode dissecting the seventh week of the summertime Bachelor in Paradise series. 

It’s hard to convey the sincerity and enthusiasm with which Daniel Radcliffe goes frame-by-frame through the two week-seven episodes of Bachelor in Paradise. He sighs, groans, releases yelps of passion, and finishes the other hosts’ sentences. At several points, he hearkens back to plot lines from earlier seasons to scaffold his complex theories and arguments. Most importantly—at risk of setting the bar at toe-ring level for male celebrities—he doesn’t interrupt. He listens actively. He shares genuine laughter with the other hosts and Darke. 

His investment never seems feigned. After all, who better than a person who has been watched every moment of his adult life to weigh in on a reality show, a genre about people submitting to being observed? Radcliffe also mentions, several times throughout the episode that he is a devotee of the dating show Love Island. This is not a man who dabbles. Daniel Radcliffe loves reality TV. 

“There were moments where it got so awkward that Dan had to cover his ears and duck out of the room,” Darke says, of watching the episodes as a couple. Darke, who should not be discounted just because she was never a wide-eyed boy wizard, is also a worthy critic and important member of the Bachelor Nation intelligentsia. 

Cementing his status as “one of the only celebrities it would actually be nice to spend time with in real life,” Radcliffe gives a gorgeously thorough breakdown of the state of affairs in Paradise. Here are some of his best points: 

On Grocery Store Joe, Serena, and Kendall: 

“I can’t think of another three people off the top of my head that you could shove into a love triangle who would have dealt with it that well. Everybody did the best they could in a really, really awkward situation.”

On Demi’s attempt to seduce Kenny: 

“To be tearfully asked if you want to have sex…[regretful sigh].” 

On Brendan and Pieper’s machinations: 

“They were talking like two criminals trying to get their story straight!” 

On the twin love triangles (Chris, Jessenia, and Alana, vs. Brendan, Natasha, and Pieper) 

“Clearly no one likes Chris. For whatever reason, the people have taken against him—they have no loyalty to him. Because the vast canyon between how they treat Chris—and who knows, maybe the next episode is going to start with them [confronting Brendan and Natasha] being like, ‘You guys have to leave, too.’ But Joe and Riley, I loved that whole conversation when they [confront Chris], but the fact that there was none of that for Brendan can only be because, yeah, there’s nobody that has any loyalty to [Chris].” 

Jenny Singer is a staff writer for Glamour. You can follow her on Twitter.