Britney Spears is continuing to speak her truth following the end of her 13-year conservatorship. In a lengthy Instagram post shared on December 27, the singer shared an extremely personal message to fans about her family, her faith, her feelings about the music industry, and her insecurities.
On the matter of her family, Britney—who has opened up about her treatment by her father Jamie Spears, her mother Lynne Spears, and her sister Jamie Lynn Spears in the recent past—reiterated how “hurt” she still feels by their actions. Even after being removed from his daughter’s conservatorship, Jamie has petitioned for Britney to pay his legal fees. “I had an experience three years ago where I stopped believing in God,” Britney wrote in the sixth slide of the post. “From every angle, I was being hurt for no reason and my family was hurting me…I went into a state of shock and the way I coped was being fake denial…it was too much to really face. It then came full circle and my heart took over and I was a lion.”
The “Baby One More Time” singer further opened up about why she originally felt she should stop making music—and hinted that she may choose to start again. Britney says she “asked for 13 years to perform new music” and remixes of her own catalog, but was refused by those who were in control. “I knew exactly what I wanted my fans to see and it didn’t make sense how network television shows are showcasing my music with remixes of all my music…yet the person who owns the music is told no,” Britney wrote. “They even gave remixes to my sister but why was I always told no?”
Britney’s solution was to remove herself from the industry altogether. “So much wasted time to only embarrass me and humiliate me and I guess it seems odd to most now why I don’t even do my music anymore,” she wrote, adding, “People have no idea the awful things that were done to me personally…and after what I’ve been through, I’m scared of people and the business!!!! They really hurt me!!!!!! Not doing my music anymore is my way of saying ”Fuck You” in a sense when it only actually benefits my family by ignoring my real work…it’s like I’ve subconsciously let them win.”
Now, Britney Spears wants to move forward. “Last year was growth for me…I still have a ways to go,” Briteny wrote in slide seven. “My goal for this year is to push myself a bit more and do things that scare me but not too much I mean geez!!!! We are just people and I am not superwoman. But I do know what makes me happy and brings me joy and I try to meditate on those places and thoughts that enable me to experience it!!!!!”
You can read Britney Spears’ full post below, from slides six through eight: