President Olivia Rodrigo Addresses the Nation

The president has spoken. And by president, I mean Olivia Rodrigo. Did you think I meant someone else? Do you not think Olivia Rodrigo could totally be president? If the guy whose name we don’t mention anymore can be president, Olivia can be president. And she will be. And she already is.

In fact, the “Drivers License” singer is at the White House this week to help Joe Biden (the real president) promote COVID vaccines for young people. She, Biden and Dr. Anthony Fauci will be recording videos for social media encouraging young people to get vaccinated, reports CNN. 

On Wednesday, July 14, Rodrigo also briefly addressed the White House Briefing Room, taking the podium from press secretary Jen Psaki. Wearing platform heels and a pink plaid skirt suit, Rodrigo looked like Cher Horowitz meets Hillary Clinton. 

One fan account has identified her look as vintage Chanel from 1995. Eight years before Rodrigo was born. Not gonna think about that.

Obviously, fans were excited to see their favorite star visit D.C., and Twitter had fun hyping up the moment. “I was trying REALLY hard to not be obsessed with olivia rodrigo…” one person tweeted. 

“BREAKING: The National Anthem has been changed to ‘good 4 u’ by President Olivia Rodrigo,” joked another. See more tweets, below. 

When Olivia Rodrigo is president, blondes will be outlawed (sorry, blondes). Getting your driver’s license will be mandatory, and there will be a six-week waiting period between all relationships. Therapy will be free for anyone who wants it, all candy will be available in sour, and you can wear stickers on your face to the office. Strawberry ice cream will be the official national food, and Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” will be the new national anthem. Taylor Swift will be secretary of state. This is my America.