10 Fascinating Moments From Billie Eilish’s New Documentary

She also reveals that the filming of the music video for “When the Party’s Over,” in which tubes were connected to her eyes to create a crying effect, triggered her tics. In one particularly candid moment, Billie reveals she’s done “some crazy shit” because of her Tourette syndrome: “I fucking broke a glass once in my mouth because of ’em.” She then explains that one of her tics is to bite down on something incredibly hard: “Just because my brain is like, ‘Do it.’”

She had no idea who Orlando Bloom was when she met him.

Perhaps not one of the greatest revelations, but the funniest: At Coachella, Billie is approached by Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom, who says he’s a big fan. Katy offers Billie a friendly ear, should she ever want to talk about the pressures of stardom, and hugs her. When Billie goes back to her trailer, her brother tells her Bloom was the actor in Pirates of the Caribbean. Billie admits she had no idea who he was—“I thought that was just some dude Katy Perry met”—and laughs about the moment.

Throughout are reminders that Billie is still a teenager.

While she might be one of the most famous singers on the planet, the L.A. native is still just a teenager and the documentary reminds us this through tender moments, like a scene celebrating her 17th birthday party at an ice rink and showing her excitement over getting a driver’s license. At one point, Billie’s father sweetly offers a pep talk before her first solo car ride, saying, “Slow down. Try to figure it out. If you make a wrong turn, come back and make the right turn.”

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We learn about the relationship she kept secret.

While Billie is usually very private in interviews about her love life, this documentary does reveal she had a relationship with rapper Brandon “Q” Adams. Billie and Q exchange “I love you”s over the phone, but otherwise details around their relationship come only through snippets. (Worth noting: When we first see them together in the documentary, Billie is 16. He is 22.) The relationship appears strained and a source of frustration for Billie. In one scene, she laments that Q never showed up to an event he was invited to. In another, she reveals he went to the emergency room for a broken hand after punching a wall. After nearly a year of these ups and downs, and some advice from her parents, she decides to end things. 

Mental health is vitally important.

Trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, depression. Throughout the documentary is an emphasis on the importance of mental health and setting boundaries. In one scene Billie is upset as she describes how she’s never allowed to have a bad moment in public or it will be written about or shared on social media. Her mom consoles her, saying her team will do better to protect Billie. Her mom is very transparent and validating, noting, it’s “horrible to be a teenager. Kids are depressed. It’s a scary time.” 

Billie is open about her insecurities in the doc—even giving viewers a look at her journal filled with lyrics and dark drawings, as well as a bedroom wall covered in poems and intrusive thoughts. Some of these phrases read, “So empty, so weak, and so alone.” “There’s a mark on my arm.” “To not have everyone know who I am always.” “An intense feeling of the absolute end.” “It hurts even when it doesn’t.” I’m in so much pain.” “You’re needed.” “No matter what happens, I will be broken.” 

Billie says she had razors and Band-Aids hidden around her room when she was younger and would make herself bleed because she thought she deserved it. But while the singer is open about her mental health, she says she never meant to make a big statement around it. However, her fame and the reaction to her songs made her realize that not enough people are talking about things like depression and suicide—something she promises to stay open about as long as her career continues to flourish.

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