When you think of the best sex toys, you may typically think of vibrators, dildos, or other toys used on the clitoris or in the vagina. The best nipple stimulators rarely come up. But as an erogenous zone, nipples can be an important part of many people’s arousal—and a wide variety of nipple toys can help you to explore it.

“Studies have found that when your partner plays with your nipples, the sensations travel to the same department in your brain that transmits the nerve signals from stimulating your genitals,” says Rachel Sommer, clinical sexologist and cofounder of My Sex Toy Guide. “The brain releases the neurotransmitter oxytocin, known as the ‘cuddle hormone.’” You can stimulate your nipples with just your hands, she says, or add in toys like nipple clamps or pumps to experiment with new sensations. 

Some people can even experience a nipple orgasm, a.k.a. a nipplegasm, through nipple stimulation alone. “All orgasms happen in the brain, so when your nipples get aroused, it sends a message to your genital sensory cortex—the same place genital orgasms happen in the brain,” says Rachel Wright, licensed psychotherapist and sex educator for Zumio. “And even if you can’t achieve orgasm from nipple stimulation alone, it will most likely enhance your orgasms.”

If you don’t feel much by way of sexual pleasure in your nipples right now, don’t sweat it—you can get there. “This, of course, takes time and experimentation, but it’s totally worth the exploration,” says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for Lovers. “Once you know what you like and don’t like, you can start incorporating it into your sex life.” With the best nipple toys in hand, beginners can use them as a BDSM-inspired way to level up your foreplay, enhance oral sex, or stimulate nerve endings during masturbation. (Psst: Apply lube beforehand to minimize chafing.)

Ahead, you’ll find the best nipple stimulators to help you experience nipple-based pleasure, whether you’re alone or with a partner. 

The world of smut is vast and varied, ranging from mainstream porn to erotic novels to audio erotica to fan fiction to that one sports-team mascot that just does it for you, for some reason.

You know how things go on a mainstream porn website: Want to get choked by your imaginary stepdad? Want to watch the most horrifying sex imaginable take place in an old warehouse? Want to constantly lose track of the narrative because you’re wondering if the actors are being paid competitive and fair wages? Of course there is ethical, enthusiastic, consensual female-gaze porn out there, but it’s not always easy to find.

On the other hand…welcome to Spicy BookTok, the TikTok community focused on erotic novels and stories where a woman in flattering glasses will talk in a calming voice about genres called fae porn and praise kink. They got jokes. They got feelings. They got ultra-specific scenarios. What if you teamed up with your enemy to overthrow an evil regime and then you had to take shelter from passing guards in a cave and in the darkness he stumbled and cut his thigh on a sharp rock and you had to dress his wound but your only spare scrap of fabric was your corset? What then??? Spicy BookTok is the sister kingdom to the smut queens of Bookstagram. Both realms are woman-dominated. And both tend to celebrate queerness, fatness, and people of color with less tokenization than other erotic communities.

Yes, it feels odd to call women publicly describing their post-reading underwear as “glopping and gloopy” a sign of radical progress. But this is a phenomenon of women forming networks to tell each other what turns them on. Kimiya, a.k.a. KKTReads, even argues that darker erotic novels can feel therapeutic “for those who have experienced sexual assault in their life, or those who may have darker sexual appetites and want to learn about them and explore them in a safe, controlled environment.” Says Ayman, who commands a BookTok audience of over half a million, “Reading romance and anything smutty has taught me way more about myself and my sexuality than any textbook or sex-ed class ever could.”

Smutty books roll their eyes at the cult of sanctity around literature. In the world of erotic books and romance novels, there’s room for every fantasy on the page. Commas and ellipses contort on the page, and ink serves as lingerie. Ahead of Valentine’s Day, Glamour asked nine devoted smut readers on TikTok and Instagram to recommend their favorite erotic novels, romance novels, and written smut. Happy reading!

Dating Dr. Dil by Nisha Sharma

Romance books allow me to vicariously live through characters that have way more interesting lives than I do. I’m currently reading Dating Dr. Dil by Nisha Sharma, and this book has single-handedly proven why I like fictional men better than real-life men. —Ayman of AymansBooks

Gifting Me to His Best Friend (A Touch of Taboo) by Katee Robert

Katee Robert’s A Touch of Taboo series has got to be the smuttiest, horniest books I’ve read in the past two years, and they are so great because of the diversity in them. Every book explores a specific nonconventional (or taboo) relationship and different sexual appetites in a healthy, consensual environment. What’s not to love?! For dark romance, Hooked by Emily McIntire and The Cat and Mouse Duet by H.D. Carlton are both amazing books. (I always advise everyone to check the trigger warnings and content warnings before reading dark romance!) —Kimiya of KKTReads 

It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey

I recommend It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey. It is the first book I read by her, and oh, my gosh, it was amazing. It’s a cute yet very hot romantic story about an L.A. wild child named Piper who is sent to a fisherman’s town called Westport to run her late father’s dive bar and learn how to be independent. She is greeted with not the warmest of welcomes by none other than a grumpy young fisherman named Brendan. This book gave me butterflies. The banter between them was unbelievably cute. For example, Piper only knew how to cook pasta, and she cooked that for Brendan for like three days straight. He was tired of it, obviously, but he would eat it every day for the rest of his life if it made her happy. Tell me that isn’t cute?? I was this close to moving to a small town myself to try and find a young fisherman after reading this book. Plus, the spicy scenes that happened between them? Oof, I was definitely blushing when reading them. This book is an easy read, swoon-worthy, and super hot and steamy. —Jayde of JaydeClément 

The Original Sinners Series by Tiffany Reisz

If you want a mix of romance, Catholicism, BDSM, polyamory, queer characters, and mystery all in a long series, well, look no further than The Original Sinners series by Tiffany Reisz. It’s about a Catholic bishop and his erotic novelist lover. You may need to take time off work or school, because this series will have you bound, gagged, and on your knees begging for more. —Beatrice of BeatriceBPhan

A Not So Meet Cute by Meghan Quinn

If you have not read A Not So Meet Cute by Meghan Quinn—what are you doing with your life? This is a Pretty Woman–inspired book with fake dating, hilarious banter that brings tears to your eyes, and sexual tension like no other. One of the best rom-coms I have ever read! Highly recommend! —Tess of Bookedupchick

Fall From India Place by Samantha Young

If there’s one book a hopeless romantic has to read before they die, it’s this book—Fall From India Place by Samantha Young. It has the best romantic scenes I have ever read in a book as well as the best spicy scenes. It will tug on your heartstrings and occasionally make you want to rip your heart out to give to the Marco (the lead male). —Anita H of AnitasLibrary

The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas

A book that I absolutely love is The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas. It’s a book filled with romance that makes you scream at 2 a.m. because it’s that good; spice that leaves you breathless for a second or two; and characters that will forever stay with you. I loved it so much. —Youssra of Youssra Reads

Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark

The queen of the mafia romance subgenre is easily Sophie Lark. Each of her books features a different romance trope and a different kink, so there is a little something for everyone. Trust me, her books are not only utterly addictive and super spicy, but they feature badass women who bring strong men to their knees! Start with Brutal Prince, which is an enemies-to-lovers arranged marriage romance.

Honestly, it’s strange how people forget that historical romances can be smutty! The Secret by Julie Garwood was written back in 1992, but the swoony bickering in this will have any Outlander and Bridgerton fan melting on the spot. This romance is about a grumpy Scottish laird falling for a feisty English lady, and trust me, this man knows how to pleasure his woman. But be warned, after finishing this book I was tempted to spend all the money I don’t have on a plane ticket to Scotland. —Madison of PrincessofPaperback 

Jenny Singer is a staff writer for Glamour. You can follow her on Twitter. 

So you want to incorporate anal play into solo (or partnered) sex but don’t know where to start? That’s okay! The key is to find anal sex toys that can help you prep, pay attention to how your body responds, and go slow and steady. If you want to experiment with anal sex, it’s always a good idea to add some toys to your arsenal to ensure your first time is smooth and fun, and feels good.

“Exploring solo is a great way to start, even if your goal is anal intercourse with a partner,” says Carol Queen, staff sexologist at sex-toy retailer Good Vibrations. “[When you’re] solo, you get to choose your toys and timing, go slow, learn your responses, and familiarize yourself with the sensations of anal insertion.”

When you’re exploring anal pleasure for the first time, it’s important to be as relaxed as possible, make sure you have a ton of personal lubricant, and if you plan on graduating to anal penetration with another person, we cannot stress how important communication is.

Why do you need lube for anal play?

Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so feel free to go a little wild with the slippery stuff. Which lube you should get is based on what material your toys are made from. If you have silicone toys (and a lot of toys are silicone), try not to use silicone-based lube; go for water- or gel-based lubes. “Lube is a must and should be applied to the anus, the toy, or the body part you’re using to insert and stimulate, and—if you have a lube shooter—into the rectum itself—more lube is almost always better,” Queen says.

Start with small anal sex toys.

You may want to start with smaller and thinner butt plugs, anal dildos, and vibrators for masturbation or partnered sex—but make sure they have a base so they can’t slip all the way in. Once you’re feeling good, you can always work your way up to larger ones.

The key to enjoying anal play is staying relaxed.

If this is your first time experimenting with butt play, you might feel tense and nervous, and that’s totally natural. If you have a vulva, you were probably a little tense and nervous when you first started using penetrative vaginal toys or having partnered vaginal sex. It’s the same with anal sex—and practice makes perfect. 

Queen gave us some tips, advising that you should “be in a comfortable spot where you feel safe; make sure you are with a person you can trust; take deep breaths; really take your time” and adding, “Beginner anal is not quickie material. When it’s time to play with a partner, they must go slow, and the person being penetrated is in charge—the person with the anus says when they are ready, how deep, how fast, and when it’s time to stop.”

Put the numbing cream away. 

You might be tempted to use a numbing cream so that you feel less discomfort while you insert toys or have sex with your partner, but it’s actually not a good plan. According to anal-toy seller B-Vibe, using numbing creams can increase the chances of your actually hurting yourself. “[Numbing creams] make it easy to keep going even when the lube has run dry or your body tightens up, so it’s a lot more likely that you’ll hurt yourself,” B-Vibe’s blog explains, adding that it’s similar to a visit to the dentist. If you’ve ever been given Novocain before getting a filling, then you may have accidentally bitten your cheek, not even knowing you hurt yourself. Hours later, your pain receptors are no longer blocked, and now they’re communicating with your brain that, whatever you did to yourself, it hurts.

Plus, it’s good to know when you’re in pain so you can add more lube, adjust positions, slow down, or just stop entirely. Anal sex shouldn’t hurt; it’s not a BDSM situation for most. With practice, lube, and prioritizing relaxation above all else, anal should be pleasurable and awesome. If anal doesn’t feel good, you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to soldier on.

If you feel like you’re ready to add the best anal sex toys and accessories to your cart, here’s where you can start.

Shopping for new sex products like lube, toys, and condoms wasn’t always so straightforward, but the best Maude vibrators and sex toys have changed the game. Back in the day, it could be tricky at best to tell which sites to trust—and which products were really worth your while. Fortunately, we’ve since encountered something of a sexual renaissance online, with retailers like Ella Paradis, Babeland, Lovehoney, and even Amazon stocking a wide (and beloved) assortment of sex toys.

Even so, Maude stands out among the rest. Founders Éva Goicochea and Dina Epstein launched it as a one-stop-shop for all your sexual health needs alongside peers like Dame Products and Lelo. Maude is distinct from other online sex-toy companies in that, rather than aggregating a bunch of different brands, it makes and sells its own products.

This way, Maude can be meticulous about quality—which is clear just from a look at the vibrators, which are made of high-quality, body-safe, platinum-grade silicone. “We’re a vertically integrated, unisex, and design-forward brand,” Goicochea tells Glamour. “While retailers focus on just curating products or offering many options, we work directly with some of the world’s best factories to create our edited line of sex essentials. Then we reimagined the experience of buying these products through a modern website that focuses both on product and friendly content. In short, we put the customer experience first.”

Beyond just making our lives easier, Maude is hoping to change how we think about sex and its role in our overall health. “The current sex industry is based on an ideology that treats sex as a novelty or, worse, a taboo,” explains Epstein. Maude wants to show that, yes, addressing your sexual needs should be fun, but it should also be taken seriously. Epstein says they take “a wellness approach that makes people feel comfortable about sex so they can integrate it into their daily lives.”

She adds, “by changing the conversation around sex, we are encouraging people to be more open about what they want [from] their partners and [for] themselves. Maude makes beautiful, easy-to-use items that give people the chance to stop compartmentalizing their sex lives—both in their heads and in their medicine cabinets.”

Plus, the best Maude vibrators and sex toys are so pretty and minimalist that we’d be totally fine leaving them out on the nightstand—see for yourself below.

The Best Maude Vibrators

Maude is known for having some of the best vibrators, which have been designed to be as approachable to beginners as they are to longtime users. Made of soft silicone, the Drop can be used all over the body (think of it as the ball of a wand vibrator, without the handle), while the best-selling Vibe personal massager features three vibration patterns, is water-resistant, and USB-rechargeable. In addition to different intensity levels, the Vibe has a 2.5-hour battery life and can be used for either masturbation or clitoral stimulation during intercourse. The latest newcomer is the Cone, which helped one writer move past her fear of anal play.

The Best Maude Sex Accessories

Rather than offering countless dildos, tons of clitoral vibrators, and G-spot vibrators for days, Maude has supplemented its sex toy selection with curated essentials, such as latex condoms and organic lube. These products are intended to complement the vibrators, not compete with them.

The Best Maude Personal Products

It’s not just about the sex-derived pleasure: Maude’s also got a full lineup of products to cater to the self-care set, such as towel wipes (which can be used to refresh on the go), massage candles, and even body oil and wash. They make for an easy way to ~set the mood~ so to speak, whether you’re riding solo or have a partner around.

Let me start by saying that I’m an anal virgin—or, if a butt plug can take your virginity, I at least was until very recently. I first tried exploring anal stimulation with my finger back in college, after a campus sexuality workshop touted the joys of the anus, but felt nothing close to pleasure, so I gave up. A few years later I got a butt plug but just couldn’t seem to get it up there. To be honest, the whole concept of having something in my butt freaked me out.

So, when I first received the Cone—the very first butt plug created by sexual wellness brand Maude—I was skeptical that it would fit inside me, let alone do anything for me. I was pleasantly surprised, though, that I succeeded in the former and even got some of the latter.

Maude’s brand is all about simplicity, and this product is no exception. The Maude Cone doesn’t vibrate like many other butt plugs do—it’s just 4.25 inches of platinum-grade, soft-touch silicone (3.5 of those inches are insertable, and the width is 1.5 inches), with a tapered shape for easy insertion and a flared base so it can’t get stuck in you. The toy is phthalate- and latex-free for those concerned about chemicals—and waterproof for those who want to use it in the shower or bath. It’s intentionally slim for anal beginners like yours truly, and it costs only $30, so if it’s not your thing, it’s not a huge investment. 

Another thing Maude likes to do is create sleek, elegant products that look good on your nightstand. I happened to leave the Cone on my bathroom counter and I did feel strangely comfortable with it there: The green silicone (it also comes in charcoal), petite size, and thin shape make it look more like a tiny, dim lava lamp than a sex toy. (It also comes with a nice canvas bag for storage and travel.) But I eventually had to work up the courage to bring it into bed with me. 

To maximize my chances of being able to actually get it inside me, I played with my clit for a while first. Then came the moment of truth. The whole thing didn’t slide right in immediately, but with excessive-seeming amounts of water-based lube—you shouldn’t use Cone with oil or silicone lube as it will apparently degrade the silicone—and gradual movement, I was surprised that it went in with little discomfort. And once I got the insertion itself out of the way, it stayed snuggly in there thanks to its flared base, which also happens to have a suction cup so adventurous users can attach it to the floor or wall. Getting it in was the hardest part; the rest was a breeze.

I used a vibrator on my clit while the Cone was inside my anus, and when I climaxed, I could feel my anal muscles contracting along with my vagina—sort of like a full-pelvis orgasm. The anal muscles are actually always engaged during orgasm, but feeling them contract against something intensified the pleasure and made the whole sensation more spread out. 

I also tried a few experiments: Even though the Maude Cone doesn’t vibrate, I was able to make it vibrate by holding my vibrator against the base, which created a pleasant buzzing sensation in my anus. I also tried penetrating my vagina with a dildo while the Cone was in me, but it felt like too much—there just wasn’t enough space for them both. When I was ready to call it a night, the plug came out of me fairly effortlessly when I pushed my pelvic muscles outward. 

All in all, while having something up my butt while I masturbated was kind of an odd feeling, it was also a new and interesting one. Is anal pleasure suddenly my thing now? No. But having finally succeeded in using an anal toy, I do feel like I’ve reached a sexual milestone. Anal play no longer intimidates me so much, and even though I don’t know if I’ll want to explore it further, it feels liberating to know that I can. Thanks, Cone! 

So yes, I was confused when men passed on sex with me, an adult woman with no open sores or visible rashes. Comedies exaggerate for comic or dramatic effect—we know this. But plenty of people believe there is more than a grain of truth here. The general assumption is that male desire is straightforward and constant, while female desire is emotional and complicated, a hungry athlete versus an aloof house cat. How else can we conceptualize sex when our sources of data as children are things that turn on men on the screen: the wind, women chewing, fruit, fast cars, certain animals, pillows, and bare feet. Or the magazines we read as teens that warned us to treat the male body delicately, like one of those children who is allergic to sunlight and air. Anything, like eye contact, or a whisper, could cause them to ejaculate.

Though the modern-day conversation about desire has grown more inclusive and less taboo, we still promote these ideas through entertainment, teach them to children, and repeat them to each other. Our weirdo assumptions about gender and desire are propagated in schools—in only half of all states is sex education required to be accurate. 

The fact is that deeply held cultural beliefs about male vs. female sexuality just don’t bear out in scientific research. “The proposed ‘fact’ that men have higher desire than women is, well, a myth,” writes Dr. Sarah Hunter-Murray, a psychologist who specializes in family and marital therapy. In her book Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships, she debunks the idea that male desire is generally higher than women’s.

“What we’re seeing, study after study, is that in heterosexual partnered relationships, men and women are equally likely to be the partner with higher desire,” Hunter-Murray says. She cites three studies that asked heterosexual couples in romantic relationships to report on their sex lives. In each study, about a quarter of the couples said that the male partner had higher desire, about a quarter said that the female partner had higher desire, and about half said that they were evenly matched. It’s true that plenty of women have low desire and plenty of men have high desire, Hunter-Murray says. But we over-focus on them, forgetting the people who are on the other side of the bell curve of desire. Consider this 2011 study of 133 heterosexual couples: “Men and women were equally likely to be the member of the couple with lower sexual desire relative to their partner,” researchers found. 

In fact, some researchers have made the case that female desire is generally wilder than male desire. “It’s frustrating to hear it repeated over and over that men have stronger [libidos] than women do,” sex researcher Meredith Chivers told anthropologist Wednesday Martin, for Martin’s 2018 book Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free. Chivers added: “Let’s consider that maybe we’ve been measuring desire incorrectly.” Chivers pointed to a study that found that women respond sexually to a wider range of sexual images than men do. Women had sexual responses to images of various gender parings having sex, and even to Bobobos having sex, while male response was more limited and predictable. “Women are, on some level, super freaks,” Martin writes. 

Even after over two decades of marriage, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith are still working on their relationship—and as clichéd as it sounds, communication for them is the key. Especially in the bedroom. 

During a recent Red Table Talk, Pinkett Smith opened up about what she’s learned about being a good partner, including letting go of certain “fantasies.”

“It’s hard,” the mother of two said, per E! Online, “The thing Will and I talk about a lot is the journey. We started in this at a very young age, you know, 22 years old. That’s why the accountability part really hit for me because I think you expect your partner to know, especially when it comes to sex. It’s like, ‘Well, if you love me, you should know. If you love me, you should read my mind.’ That’s a huge pitfall.”

She continued, “You tell me what you need. Tell me what you want, and on top of it, I know that I have to be accountable to do the same…. I really try. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s deeply healthy, and I think around sex, because it’s something that we don’t talk about and there’s so much fantasy around it.”

Jada Pinkett Smith’s guest, Gwyneth Paltrow, agreed, asking, “Isn’t it weird, though? It’s like someone doesn’t read your mind and we feel crushed.” Amen.

Paltrow, who is now married to producer Brad Falchuk, recently opened up about giving birth to her daughter, Apple, via emergency C-section. On Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast, Paltrow revealed (per People), “My daughter was an emergency. It was crazy—we almost died. It was, like, not good.” The actor and Goop founder didn’t go into more detail about the event but did mention that the ensuing scar was a little shocking. “Anyway, there’s a big scar across your body, and you’re like, ‘Oh, wow, that didn’t use to be there,’” she said. “And it’s not that it’s bad, or you want to judge it, but you’re just like, ‘Oh my God.’”

Personal lubricants are used on—and in—the most intimate parts of your body, so it makes sense that you’d want to explore the best natural lubes available. Especially if you’re taking cue from your beauty routine, which may have become “cleaner” with brands being increasingly transparent about their ingredient list. While the type of lube you choose is based on personal preference, being as body-safe as possible is priority number 1 when testing out new intimate products and sex toys. 

What is natural lube, exactly?

Natural lube is considered to be lube that’s free from harsh chemicals and is made from natural ingredients, such as nut oils and aloe leaf juice. 

The neat thing about natural lube is that you can technically use ingredients you might already have in your kitchen (although it’s best to start with a new bottle if you plan on using it as a personal lubricant). You can get any kind of plant-based oil (such as coconut, vitamin E, and olive oil) online or at specialty stores, where you can find high-quality, organic stuff. “Just be sure you’re buying oil-based plant oils that are 100 percent organic and 100 percent pure,” Gigi Engle, Certified Sex Coach, Sex Educator, and Womanizer Sex Expert, tells Glamour.

Know what your body likes—or doesn’t like. 

All bodies are different, so if you know you have specific sensitivities, do some research before actually using natural lubricants. For instance, many people may swear by coconut oil, but it has the potential to throw off your vagina’s pH levels. Engle says, “If you’re prone to yeast infections, be cautious of coconut oil. It has antibacterial properties, so it can throw off pH. This is pretty unlikely, but is still something to take into consideration, as it has been reported.”

Another downside to oil-based natural lube is that they’re not compatible with latex-based condoms, as Engle warns: “They break down condoms and cause them to fail.” However, several natural lubes that are friendly with condoms do exist on the market, which we’ll get to in a second. 

What to watch for when trying out natural lubes.

Engle tells Glamour that there are some ingredients you should steer clear of, like parabens, preservatives, and added fragrances. You likely won’t find these in natural lubes, but read the ingredient list closely: “The vagina and vulva area is one of the most absorbent in the human body. You don’t want to be putting anything unsafe on or in it,” she says.

Here are some of the best natural lubes you can purchase online.