Sad news, friends: JoJo’s reign over The Bachelorette has ended. She’s been a worthy stand-in for Chris Harrison—if he’d never come back…I don’t know that I’d have noticed! But there can only be one, and Harrison has returned to the bubble.
Immediately, Tayshia gives him the download on all the men who’ve left. Or, in the case of Bennett, are haunting the La Quinta Inn like the ghosts of Eazy’s date. She’s still not sure what to do about the Harvard grad—here’s an idea: call Ghostbusters—but the Hometowns are coming up, and it’s time to get serious and make hard decisions.
But first, she has a one-on-one date with Blake that involves meeting with a reiki and crystal master. Now, as a woman whose big weekend plans alternated between crying and listening to Evermore while reading my tarot cards…the concept of this date is appealing. But not even the most in-tune energy in all of California can fix the lack of chemistry between Tayshia and Blake. I don’t care how many broken rocks you give these two—it’s not meant to be. Tayshia doesn’t even bother taking Blake to dinner; she just sends him home while he half-heartedly feigns surprise.
But maybe the chakra opening had some sort of impact—because as soon as Tayshia sends Blake home, she visits the men’s villa to break up with Riley. Why this decisive action wasn’t directed toward Noah and Bennett, two men who absolutely should be dumped before Total Catch Riley, I don’t know. Regardless, Riley takes it all very gracefully. I hope this means we’ll see him in Paradise.
The next night, Bennett shows up to the rose ceremony like Madison Montgomery entering Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies.
But the men barely have time to process this resurrection before Chris Harrison arrives and tells them that Tayshia’s ready to go straight into the rose ceremony without a cocktail party. There are only three spots left—remember, Ben got a rose on his date last week—so the stakes are high. And the roses go to: Zac, Ivan, and Brendan. As they should.
While it’s nice seeing Noah finally get the boot, it’s even more joyous to see Bennett get double rejected.
And that’s…it! Yes, there was a Men Tell All special in which the live audience is replaced with Pier 1 Imports candles. (A true glow up, if you ask me.) But do you really want to relive Noah and Bennett’s dumb feud? Did you even remember that Ed hates Chasen? Does the world need Yosef hunkering down and saying he has “no regrets” about insulting Clare? Besides a sweet moment between Riley and Tayshia, it all was fairly uneventful.
But that’s OK—tomorrow night is the hometown dates, and I can’t wait. See you then.
Anna Moeslein is the senior editor at Glamour. Follow her on Twitter @annamoeslein.